In case you've wondered where I've been, I'll give you a few seconds to guess.
1...2...3...
Okay. Time's up.
Mom. Stingy. Refuses to share PC with ME!
I know she's been busy. Believe me. I. know. I hear about it all the time. Deadlines, copy edits, something about books and authors and editors needing this or that. I get it. What I don't get is why I can't be spared five minutes to connect with my fans. Oh well, some things are just destined to remain a mystery. Mom's thinking processes are among them.
Speaking of mom, I overheard her telling my human siblings about a new challenge she's participating in. Mom thinks she needs to lose some weight and be healthier. Something tells me that if she does, my movie and cuddling time might be in jeopardy. Anyway, she's starting a 30-day challenge as one of the CWA Review Crew.
If I understand correctly, mom will be doing the Shapely Girl Fitness program using a DVD starting October 1, 2012. Hmmm. Okay. Whatever.
The CWA Crew sounds cool. It's part of CWA (Christian Women Affiliate) and these women (27 of 'em)are going to support and pray for each other. Isn't that sweet!
Mom has already started praying for the crew. I heard her when she was doing some warm ups.
"Good Lord! Sweet Jesus! Lord help us!"
She was really deep in prayer. She was sweating and everything. I'm so proud of her!
I'll keep you posted on her progress; that is, if she doesn't hog (sorry to use derrogatory animal slang) the PC again.
Until then, keep mom (and Doggebone) in your prayers. Something tells me we're gonna need 'em.
Until next time, run and play and don't forget to pray!
-Doggebone
Showing posts with label Doggebone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doggebone. Show all posts
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Follow me @doggebone because #dogsrule
Hey world! It’s me, Doggebone. I want to let you know that you can follow me on Twitter @doggebone.
I’ll be updating everyone on my adventures of the summer very soon. It seems that my human mom has been busy and sharing the computer has not been a priority for her. Like she doesn’t know that my fans NEED to hear from me! Geesh! Humans!
I have been SO bored!
Anyway, follow me and, yeah, I guess you can follow my mom, too (@rwhi).
Until next time, remember that #dogsrule,
Doggebone
Technorati Tags: #dogsrule,follow Doggebone,canines,animals,blogging dogs,#doggebone,animal humor,Twitter,@doggebone
Friday, April 20, 2012
Oh. The. Pain.
Not much that I can blog tonight. Mom ate beef and vegetable soup. I begged silently with sad eyes. Got her leftover soup. Wonderful…at the time.
Not. Feeling. Well. Oh, the pain. Belly hurts.
My human brother sat down beside me. My lack of verbal skills made it impossible to warn him. He reached to rub under my chin.
Nauseous.
Sorry.
Exhausted. Stomach. Good night.
Technorati Tags: doggy stomach ache,doggebone
Monday, March 12, 2012
Discrimination
Hello again world. It’s me, again. Doggebone. I hope you’ve been doing well since my last post.
Me? So glad you asked. I’ve been physically well but I am on a mission. You know how I love getting involved in making a difference.
My current objective is to address discrimination.
You might not realize just how bad discrimination is in the world today. It doesn’t begin or end with racial or ethnic discrimination either. Now we have to deal with species discrimination. Let me explain…
I cannot count the times my human mom has referred to me as her “son.” I have been proud of being her son. I am proud to have human siblings; to be a part of the family. In fact, my mom says that I am part of the family. But sometimes the actions of my family make me feel anything but included.
Case in point.
Mom received an invitation to a relative’s 50th birthday event. The envelope was clearly addressed to her “and family.” And family. Family. I am family, correct? Well, guess who didn’t get to go?
Yes. Doggebone.
Apparently it is okay to take me on an occasional ride to the store or even to visit relatives who live nearby, but taking me to a family event is not in the cards. But, then again, even visits to relative’s homes are rare. The first time Mom took me to a relative’s house I chased his guineas. He scolded me and I stopped. I obeyed. That is good, right? Yeah, I thought so too. But I’ve only been allowed to go back once since then. Obviously, mom fears that I will chase his birds again. Talk about stereotyping!
I just don’t understand why I am acceptable to attend family events at our home but when the same family has get-togethers I am excluded. They act like they like me, but actions speak louder than words.
Doggebone is always left out. And I know why.
It is because I am different. Sure, I don’t look the same as the rest of the family. I am shorter, a bit less conversational, but I try. I bet if I was five feet five and walked on two feet instead of four and had less body hair I would be invited. It is discrimination –pure and plain, discrimination.
Heck. It doesn’t begin or end with family events. Think about it. Dogs are only allowed inside of stores and other establishments when they have a blind or disabled owner. What about the rest of us, faithful family members? If I was to stroll into Wal-Mart I can only imagine the reception I would receive. I am sure Doggebone’s butt would be escorted out immediately –if not kicked out, literally. The discrimination doesn’t end here, either.
I have heard stories about birds getting into stores and the employees and customers think it is amazing –beautiful, in fact. So, does that mean that I should sprout wings and fly to get in the freaking department store? Only a few places, like PetSmart, will let me in, and then I have to have my Mom with me. How embarrassing for a canine of my age. Escorted by my Mom everywhere I go. Doesn’t that also constitute as discrimination?
I just don’t understand it. I have been a constant source of love and committed care to my family. Again, there is that word –family. I am here when they need me. They go off and do their own things and guess who is waiting, happy to see them, when they return home? Doggebone. Who never questions what they do and is always glad that they have returned? Doggebone? Who lies at the END of the bed on days when Mom says I need a bath? Doggebone. I have never once seen my human siblings put at the end of the bed because they decide to get their shower the next morning. Discrimination!
There appears to be a lack of public or legislative support for canine discrimination. See, it really is all political. I suppose my situation does nothing to further national (or even local) politics. Even the ASPCA doesn’t seem interested in my plight. Sure, the ASPCA campaigns for abandoned and abused animals and that is great; but what about those of us who are doing our God-given duty as family companions? Do we not deserve a voice?
I think we do. After all, fighting for my rights, alone, is ruff! What do you think?
Me? So glad you asked. I’ve been physically well but I am on a mission. You know how I love getting involved in making a difference.
My current objective is to address discrimination.
You might not realize just how bad discrimination is in the world today. It doesn’t begin or end with racial or ethnic discrimination either. Now we have to deal with species discrimination. Let me explain…
I cannot count the times my human mom has referred to me as her “son.” I have been proud of being her son. I am proud to have human siblings; to be a part of the family. In fact, my mom says that I am part of the family. But sometimes the actions of my family make me feel anything but included.
Case in point.
Mom received an invitation to a relative’s 50th birthday event. The envelope was clearly addressed to her “and family.” And family. Family. I am family, correct? Well, guess who didn’t get to go?
Yes. Doggebone.
Apparently it is okay to take me on an occasional ride to the store or even to visit relatives who live nearby, but taking me to a family event is not in the cards. But, then again, even visits to relative’s homes are rare. The first time Mom took me to a relative’s house I chased his guineas. He scolded me and I stopped. I obeyed. That is good, right? Yeah, I thought so too. But I’ve only been allowed to go back once since then. Obviously, mom fears that I will chase his birds again. Talk about stereotyping!
I just don’t understand why I am acceptable to attend family events at our home but when the same family has get-togethers I am excluded. They act like they like me, but actions speak louder than words.
Doggebone is always left out. And I know why.
It is because I am different. Sure, I don’t look the same as the rest of the family. I am shorter, a bit less conversational, but I try. I bet if I was five feet five and walked on two feet instead of four and had less body hair I would be invited. It is discrimination –pure and plain, discrimination.
Heck. It doesn’t begin or end with family events. Think about it. Dogs are only allowed inside of stores and other establishments when they have a blind or disabled owner. What about the rest of us, faithful family members? If I was to stroll into Wal-Mart I can only imagine the reception I would receive. I am sure Doggebone’s butt would be escorted out immediately –if not kicked out, literally. The discrimination doesn’t end here, either.
I have heard stories about birds getting into stores and the employees and customers think it is amazing –beautiful, in fact. So, does that mean that I should sprout wings and fly to get in the freaking department store? Only a few places, like PetSmart, will let me in, and then I have to have my Mom with me. How embarrassing for a canine of my age. Escorted by my Mom everywhere I go. Doesn’t that also constitute as discrimination?
I just don’t understand it. I have been a constant source of love and committed care to my family. Again, there is that word –family. I am here when they need me. They go off and do their own things and guess who is waiting, happy to see them, when they return home? Doggebone. Who never questions what they do and is always glad that they have returned? Doggebone? Who lies at the END of the bed on days when Mom says I need a bath? Doggebone. I have never once seen my human siblings put at the end of the bed because they decide to get their shower the next morning. Discrimination!
There appears to be a lack of public or legislative support for canine discrimination. See, it really is all political. I suppose my situation does nothing to further national (or even local) politics. Even the ASPCA doesn’t seem interested in my plight. Sure, the ASPCA campaigns for abandoned and abused animals and that is great; but what about those of us who are doing our God-given duty as family companions? Do we not deserve a voice?
I think we do. After all, fighting for my rights, alone, is ruff! What do you think?
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Here Kitty Kitty
Hey again world! It’s me, Doggebone.
It seems that my Mom has been busy lately and I’ve got a lot of free (translates to “lonely”) time on my hands (uhm…paws). So, I thought maybe I would just get some things off my chest.
First, I understand that my Mom has to work. After all, it is how she keep me supplied with Beggin’ Strips™and what I’ve come call 1-2-3’s. What are 1-2-3’s, you ask? I will tell you really quick, but remember, we are here to talk about MY issues, okay?
I have a little human cousin who I fell for immediately (well, maybe not immediately because she is a C-H-I-L-D). She would come stay with my Mom a couple of days a week and she would sit and patiently feed me my Beneful® one at a time until they were gone. When she quit coming I still wanted the special treatment. Mom refused to toss the bits of food one at a time. Instead, she said she would do only a few. She counts, “1” (my nub is wagging)… “2” (I am getting really excited)… “3” (she tosses and I run!).I return for the next and the next. She does that three times. Counts 1, 2, and 3, three times. Hence, 1-2-3’s.
Now back to me. Where was I? Oh yeah. My Mom has been busy working. I am proud of what she does but I am a little perturbed that she seems to have time to step out on the back deck to visit with those pesky felines. I really think she may be a Cat Whisperer. She already had Mr. M and Meow Meow when she adopted me. Now, she has Cali, Tiger, Belly Boy, Pretty Girl, Baby, and George. That is eight cats. EIGHT! I strongly feel that EIGHT is seven too many!
Cali, Tiger and Belly Boy are the offspring of a 15 year old, one-eyed cat named Camille that my Mom’s mother (my human grandmother, I suppose) had when she passed away in 2006. So, as you can imagine, my Mom refused to get rid the oldhag fur ball cat. Camille finally left for greener pastures. I think she was sick of the increasing population, too. I decided that I could live with Meow Meow inside and Mr. M, Cali, Tiger and Belly Boy outside.
Meow Meow is okay. She is fat and lazy and keeps to herself. She does get annoying when she wants to go “potty” (how sickening to hear the term!) because she pulls on the window blinds and mews LOUDLY until someone finally lets her out. She is ten times as loud when she’s hungry. But I deal with it.
Mr. M doesn’t bother anyone, expect other male cats. It’s a dominance thing, I think. He’s kind of rough around the edges and is constantly in fights. One of his fights was so bad that Mom had to take him for stitches. His front leg was gross. He was supposed to stay in for 10 days but he escaped, pulled out his stitches and found a nearby male cat to fight with again. Mom says she can’t afford $100 every time he fights. He seems to handle himself okay, I suppose. Not that I really care. If you want to know more about Mr. M’s history, you can read Mom’s article on “Cat Scratch Fever” on Divine Caroline.
Cali is okay. She’s kind of skinny for her age. She is a loner and rarely hangs out with her brothers, Tiger and Belly Boy. She had two kittens this past Spring. Mom gave one away and the other, Baby, is still here. I’ll tell you more about him later.
Tiger is kind of cool for a cat. He minds his own business but he has come to believe my Mom is his protector. It seems that his brother, Belly Boy, was weaned too early. Belly Boy’s name used to be Pumpkin but Mom changed it. He would follow Tiger everywhere, trying to nurse. How sick. They are males! Anyway… Mom would make him leave Tiger alone and now Tiger sees her as his protector. But Belly Boy didn’t just get his new name because of that. Mom says it’s because he only wants to be rubbed on his belly. When a human walks by, he hits the floor and rolls over for a rub. Of course, Mom always reaches down and complies. Human weakness!
Pretty Girl came up last year. Mom says her light smoky yellow fur and bright baby blue eyes are beautiful. To me, a cat is a cat and what is beautiful about a cat? At first, Pretty Girl wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Mom spent many weeks just being around her, not trying to touch her. Then one day that stupid cat walks up to Mom and rubs against her leg. Rubs turned to her letting Mom pet her head. Now, when Mom goes out, Pretty Girl runs to her, jumps on the deck rail and initiates the loving process. Mom massages these cats’ necks! Can you believe that? Well, she massages my neck, too, but that’s different.
Back to Baby. Baby was originally named Blue Eyes because of his bright blue eyes that seemed even brighter against his orange fur. Then he went blind in one eye. Mom said it didn’t seem right to call him Blue Eyes and certainly Blue “Eye” wouldn’t work. Plus, she way always telling him, “You poor baby.” It stuck. What is funny, though, is that Baby was weaned too early, too. Guess who his chosen substitute has been? Belly Boy! Karma bit that cat in the butt!
Then. There. Is. George. He is a pretty boy. Dropped off. His fur is too white and long and pretty to be on the body of a male. No. I am not jealous. It’s just that no matter what he does, he always looks pretty. I think he is a suck up, too. Mom thinks he is just sooo gorgeous and, of course, she let him stay. That’s all I have to say about him. Stupid, pretty boy flea bag.
I know I focus a lot on these cats, but can’t you see what the problem is? It was me (well…and Meow Meow who mostly keeps to herself and Mr. M who is outside), then came the brood. Mom’s massages were only for me. She even knows that my pawing at her arm means I want a massage. Now, she has eight cats lining up on the deck rails for massages. Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard?
I don’t know how to tell Mom without making her feel bad. I mean she isn’t a spring chicken and she is single. Plus I have heard that a single woman with a lot of cats will end up being called an Old Cat Lady. My mom is above being an old cat lady. At least, I think so. But what am I to do? Is there a program for her? Perhaps, you would like a cat. According to Mom, they are all adorable and would make wonderful pets for some loving family. Personally, I don’t see how a cat can be anything but a nuisance, but if it will help reduce the population, I’ll go along with it! I know that Meow Meow and Mr. M are here to stay. I can deal with that. But the others really have to go.
So, what do you think? Are you in the market for a pretty boy with long flowing hair? Perhaps a sweet yellow male kitten that is blind in one eye? How about a couple of yellow and orange brothers? They are free. Plus it is best for my mom. I am thinking of her well-being.
Did I mention that they are free? Did I mention how much simpler my life would be?
Give it some thought. Seriously.
It seems that my Mom has been busy lately and I’ve got a lot of free (translates to “lonely”) time on my hands (uhm…paws). So, I thought maybe I would just get some things off my chest.
First, I understand that my Mom has to work. After all, it is how she keep me supplied with Beggin’ Strips™and what I’ve come call 1-2-3’s. What are 1-2-3’s, you ask? I will tell you really quick, but remember, we are here to talk about MY issues, okay?
I have a little human cousin who I fell for immediately (well, maybe not immediately because she is a C-H-I-L-D). She would come stay with my Mom a couple of days a week and she would sit and patiently feed me my Beneful® one at a time until they were gone. When she quit coming I still wanted the special treatment. Mom refused to toss the bits of food one at a time. Instead, she said she would do only a few. She counts, “1” (my nub is wagging)… “2” (I am getting really excited)… “3” (she tosses and I run!).I return for the next and the next. She does that three times. Counts 1, 2, and 3, three times. Hence, 1-2-3’s.
Now back to me. Where was I? Oh yeah. My Mom has been busy working. I am proud of what she does but I am a little perturbed that she seems to have time to step out on the back deck to visit with those pesky felines. I really think she may be a Cat Whisperer. She already had Mr. M and Meow Meow when she adopted me. Now, she has Cali, Tiger, Belly Boy, Pretty Girl, Baby, and George. That is eight cats. EIGHT! I strongly feel that EIGHT is seven too many!
Cali, Tiger and Belly Boy are the offspring of a 15 year old, one-eyed cat named Camille that my Mom’s mother (my human grandmother, I suppose) had when she passed away in 2006. So, as you can imagine, my Mom refused to get rid the old
Meow Meow is okay. She is fat and lazy and keeps to herself. She does get annoying when she wants to go “potty” (how sickening to hear the term!) because she pulls on the window blinds and mews LOUDLY until someone finally lets her out. She is ten times as loud when she’s hungry. But I deal with it.
Mr. M doesn’t bother anyone, expect other male cats. It’s a dominance thing, I think. He’s kind of rough around the edges and is constantly in fights. One of his fights was so bad that Mom had to take him for stitches. His front leg was gross. He was supposed to stay in for 10 days but he escaped, pulled out his stitches and found a nearby male cat to fight with again. Mom says she can’t afford $100 every time he fights. He seems to handle himself okay, I suppose. Not that I really care. If you want to know more about Mr. M’s history, you can read Mom’s article on “Cat Scratch Fever” on Divine Caroline.
Cali is okay. She’s kind of skinny for her age. She is a loner and rarely hangs out with her brothers, Tiger and Belly Boy. She had two kittens this past Spring. Mom gave one away and the other, Baby, is still here. I’ll tell you more about him later.
Tiger is kind of cool for a cat. He minds his own business but he has come to believe my Mom is his protector. It seems that his brother, Belly Boy, was weaned too early. Belly Boy’s name used to be Pumpkin but Mom changed it. He would follow Tiger everywhere, trying to nurse. How sick. They are males! Anyway… Mom would make him leave Tiger alone and now Tiger sees her as his protector. But Belly Boy didn’t just get his new name because of that. Mom says it’s because he only wants to be rubbed on his belly. When a human walks by, he hits the floor and rolls over for a rub. Of course, Mom always reaches down and complies. Human weakness!
Pretty Girl came up last year. Mom says her light smoky yellow fur and bright baby blue eyes are beautiful. To me, a cat is a cat and what is beautiful about a cat? At first, Pretty Girl wouldn’t let anyone touch her. Mom spent many weeks just being around her, not trying to touch her. Then one day that stupid cat walks up to Mom and rubs against her leg. Rubs turned to her letting Mom pet her head. Now, when Mom goes out, Pretty Girl runs to her, jumps on the deck rail and initiates the loving process. Mom massages these cats’ necks! Can you believe that? Well, she massages my neck, too, but that’s different.
Back to Baby. Baby was originally named Blue Eyes because of his bright blue eyes that seemed even brighter against his orange fur. Then he went blind in one eye. Mom said it didn’t seem right to call him Blue Eyes and certainly Blue “Eye” wouldn’t work. Plus, she way always telling him, “You poor baby.” It stuck. What is funny, though, is that Baby was weaned too early, too. Guess who his chosen substitute has been? Belly Boy! Karma bit that cat in the butt!
Then. There. Is. George. He is a pretty boy. Dropped off. His fur is too white and long and pretty to be on the body of a male. No. I am not jealous. It’s just that no matter what he does, he always looks pretty. I think he is a suck up, too. Mom thinks he is just sooo gorgeous and, of course, she let him stay. That’s all I have to say about him. Stupid, pretty boy flea bag.
I know I focus a lot on these cats, but can’t you see what the problem is? It was me (well…and Meow Meow who mostly keeps to herself and Mr. M who is outside), then came the brood. Mom’s massages were only for me. She even knows that my pawing at her arm means I want a massage. Now, she has eight cats lining up on the deck rails for massages. Is that not the craziest thing you have ever heard?
I don’t know how to tell Mom without making her feel bad. I mean she isn’t a spring chicken and she is single. Plus I have heard that a single woman with a lot of cats will end up being called an Old Cat Lady. My mom is above being an old cat lady. At least, I think so. But what am I to do? Is there a program for her? Perhaps, you would like a cat. According to Mom, they are all adorable and would make wonderful pets for some loving family. Personally, I don’t see how a cat can be anything but a nuisance, but if it will help reduce the population, I’ll go along with it! I know that Meow Meow and Mr. M are here to stay. I can deal with that. But the others really have to go.
So, what do you think? Are you in the market for a pretty boy with long flowing hair? Perhaps a sweet yellow male kitten that is blind in one eye? How about a couple of yellow and orange brothers? They are free. Plus it is best for my mom. I am thinking of her well-being.
Did I mention that they are free? Did I mention how much simpler my life would be?
Give it some thought. Seriously.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
I'll stand by her...I swear!
Look world, Doggebone has some serious stuff to talk about.
I just don't know what to think. My mama is so gentle and loving with me. I just do not see how she could do what I heard her say she did. It seems impossible. But I heard it. I heard it with my own ears. And I have darned good hearing.
Okay. I 'll try to calm down and start from the beginning.
I really needed to go outside, bad. I was trying really hard to be patient. I thought I was being good about the whole thing...considering how VERY badly I needed to "go."
Mama was about to pour water in the coffee maker. I shifted a bit to ease the pain of holding it when the words she said about knocked me over.
"I'll kill you just like I killed your little friends."
Man, all I need to do is pee. I really don't think that warrants murder. Do you? I know I was getting a little restless, but come'on. Seriously? Murder?
She didn't hurt me. She was doing something weird with her fingers and mumbling something, then she poured the water, hit the on button and walked me to the door.
I don't know what to think. But no matter what, she is my mama and I love her. If she did kill my friends, certainly there had to be a good reason. Right?
Maybe she blogged about it. Help me keep a check, won't you? http://redwritinghoodink.blogspot.com/
Until next time, hold your bladder! Seriously, your life may depend on it!
I just don't know what to think. My mama is so gentle and loving with me. I just do not see how she could do what I heard her say she did. It seems impossible. But I heard it. I heard it with my own ears. And I have darned good hearing.
Okay. I 'll try to calm down and start from the beginning.
I really needed to go outside, bad. I was trying really hard to be patient. I thought I was being good about the whole thing...considering how VERY badly I needed to "go."
Mama was about to pour water in the coffee maker. I shifted a bit to ease the pain of holding it when the words she said about knocked me over.
"I'll kill you just like I killed your little friends."
Man, all I need to do is pee. I really don't think that warrants murder. Do you? I know I was getting a little restless, but come'on. Seriously? Murder?
She didn't hurt me. She was doing something weird with her fingers and mumbling something, then she poured the water, hit the on button and walked me to the door.
I don't know what to think. But no matter what, she is my mama and I love her. If she did kill my friends, certainly there had to be a good reason. Right?
Maybe she blogged about it. Help me keep a check, won't you? http://redwritinghoodink.blogspot.com/
Until next time, hold your bladder! Seriously, your life may depend on it!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
My wisdom is coveted
Apparently, my human mom is not the only one who believes I am wise. I am gaining a fan base for those writing in to ask Doggebone's advice. So, I have decided to post some of the Questions & Answers on my blog. I hope you will enjoy the posts and, maybe, you will find that I have helped you in some way --or at least made your day a little brighter! I do have that effect on people. ;)
Friday, March 4, 2011
Snow, Bloating, and Prosperity
Hi world. It’s me…Doggebone.
So much has happened since the last time we spoke. Where do I start? Maybe it is best to go back to the beginning, which would be our big snow for 2011.
Many of you may not realize but Central Mississippi is known for winters that are rarely excessively cold and rare (really rare) snowfall. This year was different. Our area actually had two decent snowfalls –at least, according to my human mom.
The first snowfall didn’t bring much excitement for me. My human sisters did enjoy making a miniature snowman on the patio table. Humans seem to derive great pleasure from building these icy things in the freezing weather. I don’t see the fun or humor but it’s my job to make them happy so I play along. Although I did get a genuine laugh out of my oldest human sister’s freaky snow dance in camo coveralls. I heard Mom say something about posting it on Facebook; then I heard my sister threaten her if she did. The conversation ended so I am assuming the home video never made it to the masses on the net!
The second snowfall was really a doozy. It was nearly six inches, which is amazing for us. When my human siblings were playing and throwing snowballs at one another, I noticed they were eating snow, too. Then I heard Mom warn about yellow snow. I didn’t see any type of snow except white snow…well, at first. Now I know what yellow snow is and it is even more amazing that “I” can make it all by myself! Now how talented am I?!
I went out with Mom for a while. She dressed me in my cool blue, fur-lined hooded coat. Then I realized were doing some type of photo shoot in the backyard. She invited those felines, too. I’m glad she had fun. I was humiliated! She just does not realize the stresses she puts on me when she groups me with all those fur balls. Is it not enough that she has me rooming with one? Anyway, I roamed a bit while she was shooting photos of those crazy cats slapping snow and chasing it as it fell to the ground. I found some tasty snacks that a neighbor tossed out. Humans always throw away the best stuff! It did catch up with me later and Mom didn’t appreciate the aroma. I couldn’t help it. At least they were silent!
That’s about it for the big 2011 snow. Since then, I’ve tried to be good and help out as needed. I did get caught drinking muddy water. I really don’t know what the big deal was but Mom wasn’t happy. She said something about me being so picky about having fresh water in my bowl several times a day yet I am willing to drink muddy water when outside. What can I say? I am a little spoiled! It’s Mom’s fault and yet she wants to blame me. Humans!
I guess I will end here. I have some more news for you but it will have to come in a new post. So, be watching! Also, keep your ears alert. Mom’s writing a series of Doggebone stories for kids. (Shhh! Don’t tell her that I really think it’s cool!) She’s also working on a column for a regional publication. Who knows…maybe you will open your favorite magazine or newspaper one day soon and see an “Ask Doggebone” column!
Until next time, stay outta the neighbor’s scraps or at least sleep on the couch until the after-effects pass!
-Doggebone
So much has happened since the last time we spoke. Where do I start? Maybe it is best to go back to the beginning, which would be our big snow for 2011.
Many of you may not realize but Central Mississippi is known for winters that are rarely excessively cold and rare (really rare) snowfall. This year was different. Our area actually had two decent snowfalls –at least, according to my human mom.
The first snowfall didn’t bring much excitement for me. My human sisters did enjoy making a miniature snowman on the patio table. Humans seem to derive great pleasure from building these icy things in the freezing weather. I don’t see the fun or humor but it’s my job to make them happy so I play along. Although I did get a genuine laugh out of my oldest human sister’s freaky snow dance in camo coveralls. I heard Mom say something about posting it on Facebook; then I heard my sister threaten her if she did. The conversation ended so I am assuming the home video never made it to the masses on the net!
The second snowfall was really a doozy. It was nearly six inches, which is amazing for us. When my human siblings were playing and throwing snowballs at one another, I noticed they were eating snow, too. Then I heard Mom warn about yellow snow. I didn’t see any type of snow except white snow…well, at first. Now I know what yellow snow is and it is even more amazing that “I” can make it all by myself! Now how talented am I?!
I went out with Mom for a while. She dressed me in my cool blue, fur-lined hooded coat. Then I realized were doing some type of photo shoot in the backyard. She invited those felines, too. I’m glad she had fun. I was humiliated! She just does not realize the stresses she puts on me when she groups me with all those fur balls. Is it not enough that she has me rooming with one? Anyway, I roamed a bit while she was shooting photos of those crazy cats slapping snow and chasing it as it fell to the ground. I found some tasty snacks that a neighbor tossed out. Humans always throw away the best stuff! It did catch up with me later and Mom didn’t appreciate the aroma. I couldn’t help it. At least they were silent!
That’s about it for the big 2011 snow. Since then, I’ve tried to be good and help out as needed. I did get caught drinking muddy water. I really don’t know what the big deal was but Mom wasn’t happy. She said something about me being so picky about having fresh water in my bowl several times a day yet I am willing to drink muddy water when outside. What can I say? I am a little spoiled! It’s Mom’s fault and yet she wants to blame me. Humans!
I guess I will end here. I have some more news for you but it will have to come in a new post. So, be watching! Also, keep your ears alert. Mom’s writing a series of Doggebone stories for kids. (Shhh! Don’t tell her that I really think it’s cool!) She’s also working on a column for a regional publication. Who knows…maybe you will open your favorite magazine or newspaper one day soon and see an “Ask Doggebone” column!
Until next time, stay outta the neighbor’s scraps or at least sleep on the couch until the after-effects pass!
-Doggebone
Friday, December 17, 2010
Pampered Paws
Hi world. It's me...Doggebone.
I really don't know what else to put as the title of this blog post. Pampered Paws fits perfectly...well, actually the title of "Heaven" would be perfect, too.
My human mom took me to visit Edie. When she said we were going for a ride to see Edie, I was so exited! She put my Christmas fleece pullover on me and off we went to town. When we arrived, I saw Edie but she wasn't at the Vet's. Come to find out, my friend left the Vet's office and opened a grooming and boarding business. Praise the Lord!
I've never been one to mind baths and such but chilling with my friend Edie and getting the works was a Yorkie's dream come true! I smell amazing and I am one handsome man, if I do say so myself. I was also in dire need of a mani and pedi. Edie fixed me up there, too. And of course, hair around the pads of my paws does set well with the ladies, so she took care of that for me, too.
Mom looked around at tons of fun stuff for me. She said she had to wait because she just recently bought me my new pullover and a new hooded coat for the cold winter months ahead. I don't want to be too greedy, but I can hardly wait until she goes back for some of the Tommy Hilldigger cologne spray. I have a new "female" friend living a couple of houses up. She's a Yorkie, too. If I am really good, maybe mom will buy Buttercup some of Edie's Miss Claybone perfume.
Well, I guess I better run. Look for Christmas photos to be posted soon. I'll post some of Buttercup, too. She a fox. Well, actually not a fox. She's a dog, but you know what I mean. Arf! Arf!
Until next time, live life and don't forget to shake a leg!
~Doggebone (aka Fred)
I really don't know what else to put as the title of this blog post. Pampered Paws fits perfectly...well, actually the title of "Heaven" would be perfect, too.
My human mom took me to visit Edie. When she said we were going for a ride to see Edie, I was so exited! She put my Christmas fleece pullover on me and off we went to town. When we arrived, I saw Edie but she wasn't at the Vet's. Come to find out, my friend left the Vet's office and opened a grooming and boarding business. Praise the Lord!
I've never been one to mind baths and such but chilling with my friend Edie and getting the works was a Yorkie's dream come true! I smell amazing and I am one handsome man, if I do say so myself. I was also in dire need of a mani and pedi. Edie fixed me up there, too. And of course, hair around the pads of my paws does set well with the ladies, so she took care of that for me, too.
Mom looked around at tons of fun stuff for me. She said she had to wait because she just recently bought me my new pullover and a new hooded coat for the cold winter months ahead. I don't want to be too greedy, but I can hardly wait until she goes back for some of the Tommy Hilldigger cologne spray. I have a new "female" friend living a couple of houses up. She's a Yorkie, too. If I am really good, maybe mom will buy Buttercup some of Edie's Miss Claybone perfume.
Well, I guess I better run. Look for Christmas photos to be posted soon. I'll post some of Buttercup, too. She a fox. Well, actually not a fox. She's a dog, but you know what I mean. Arf! Arf!
Until next time, live life and don't forget to shake a leg!
~Doggebone (aka Fred)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Repeal smeel
So, Congress repealed "Don't ask, Don't tell." Hmmm. Doggebone doesn't know what to say except that I have my back leg up. Nuff said!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Lay with the dogs and you're gonna get fleas
Hey world. It’s Doggebone.
It’s been a while, I know. Life has been hectic. You know how it is, I’m sure.
Since my last post, I have been spending tons of quality time with my human family. Well, mostly my mom. She has been stressed and when she is not happy it makes me unhappy. As a loving son/dog, it is my job to make sure she is okay. Even if that means I have to bite some ankles!
Just kidding! I would if I really had to (for defense purposes) but I am not the violent type by design.
Anyway…
Do you know what it’s like when someone makes a life decision that impacts just about everyone? Well, I didn’t until recently. I never realized how complicated human lives can be.
The whole ordeal has led me to write and I want to share my thoughts with you.
Sometimes when a person makes a choice that means others in their life must make major changes to accommodate that person’s wants, it seems unfair. It really is unfair. But, we (including dogs) have free will. We can make our own choices. I won’t argue that point one little bit. But I will add that we must live with the consequences of our choices.
Forgive my canine analogy but this seems to be the best illustration I can provide…
Imagine that there is a cage of dogs. One of the dogs is constantly fighting with the other dogs and doing things that cause the other dogs to fight. The owner has taken the dog out of the cage several times. Each time the dogs in the cage are peaceful. When he puts the other dog back in the cage, the fighting begins. What does the owner do? Does he punish the nine dogs that are generally well-behaved? Does he permanently remove the “bad” dog?
What does your common sense tell you to do? It tells me that the “bad” dog has to go. Well, that is not always the way humans see things. Dogs, like me, are forgiving, but there comes a time when someone has mistreated us and those we love so much that “I’m sorry” and all the excuses in the world does not make things better.
There comes a time in life when we have to realize when it is time to walk away…and stay away. I guess that is what my mom is facing.
When a person makes a change in their life it does not erase the pain of the past. And while we are to forgive, sometimes the forget factor is the hardest part. It is in these times that we have to decide whether to continue in that relationship or walk away. If the memories of the past are so thick that the forget factor tempts us to retract our forgiveness, we should not be in that situation. So, I guess that’s how my mom is feeling now.
Mom says that being a Christian does not mean we are doormats. We are to forgive; to turn the other cheek. But, at the same time, don’t just stand there waiting on someone to keep slapping your cheek. Exercise your own free will.
It’s been a while, I know. Life has been hectic. You know how it is, I’m sure.
Since my last post, I have been spending tons of quality time with my human family. Well, mostly my mom. She has been stressed and when she is not happy it makes me unhappy. As a loving son/dog, it is my job to make sure she is okay. Even if that means I have to bite some ankles!
Just kidding! I would if I really had to (for defense purposes) but I am not the violent type by design.
Anyway…
Do you know what it’s like when someone makes a life decision that impacts just about everyone? Well, I didn’t until recently. I never realized how complicated human lives can be.
The whole ordeal has led me to write and I want to share my thoughts with you.
Sometimes when a person makes a choice that means others in their life must make major changes to accommodate that person’s wants, it seems unfair. It really is unfair. But, we (including dogs) have free will. We can make our own choices. I won’t argue that point one little bit. But I will add that we must live with the consequences of our choices.
Forgive my canine analogy but this seems to be the best illustration I can provide…
Imagine that there is a cage of dogs. One of the dogs is constantly fighting with the other dogs and doing things that cause the other dogs to fight. The owner has taken the dog out of the cage several times. Each time the dogs in the cage are peaceful. When he puts the other dog back in the cage, the fighting begins. What does the owner do? Does he punish the nine dogs that are generally well-behaved? Does he permanently remove the “bad” dog?
What does your common sense tell you to do? It tells me that the “bad” dog has to go. Well, that is not always the way humans see things. Dogs, like me, are forgiving, but there comes a time when someone has mistreated us and those we love so much that “I’m sorry” and all the excuses in the world does not make things better.
There comes a time in life when we have to realize when it is time to walk away…and stay away. I guess that is what my mom is facing.
When a person makes a change in their life it does not erase the pain of the past. And while we are to forgive, sometimes the forget factor is the hardest part. It is in these times that we have to decide whether to continue in that relationship or walk away. If the memories of the past are so thick that the forget factor tempts us to retract our forgiveness, we should not be in that situation. So, I guess that’s how my mom is feeling now.
Mom says that being a Christian does not mean we are doormats. We are to forgive; to turn the other cheek. But, at the same time, don’t just stand there waiting on someone to keep slapping your cheek. Exercise your own free will.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Doggebone's Christmas
Hi all! Doggebone had a wonderful Christmas! My mom invited the family to our house for food and fun. I loved the samplings I received. Holiday ham is amazing. I discovered that turkey is almost as good as chicken nuggets. Sausage balls and Chex Mix aren't too bad either! I was dying for chocolate but Mom refused. Oh, how wonderful it smelled, too!
I didn't expect a gift, after all, I am a dog. But my Aunt Terri brought me an amazing package. I have my own Mighty Dog tag which I wear proudly. I do think it has helped my muscles grow. I feel invincible! If you have watched the movie Bolt, you know how Doggebone is feeling with his new Mighty powers. And before you disagree, I have documentation to prove it. I have my own Mighty ID card personalized with MY name. I am available for watch dog positions if anyone has an opening. I am Mighty Doggebone!
Mom said that Aunt Terri was going to bring me a Santa suit but the pet store had sold out. I didn't tell Mom (shhh!) but I am actually glad. Sometimes Mom goes a bit overboard with dressing me. I am a bit embarassed when she takes me out in the cow print fleece sweater. Imagine what the guys think. It even has ears. Most of the time I tend to stay close to home when Mom makes me wear that. Just think of the jokes I'd hear if the guys saw me in a Santa suit. Humans have no idea of the peer pressures we dogs face....especially the guy dogs. Geesh!
Anyway, I did have a great Christmas. My great newphew, Nathan, celebrated his first Christmas and it was fun watching him with his gifts. It seems that he likes the same parts that I like --paper and boxes. That boy has excellent taste! Now, don't argue with me. Paper and boxes provide hours of fun and entertainment, not to mention they are cost-efficient gifts. Something was wrong with Nathan's gifts though. They had toys and clothes stuck to them. Humans! I'll never fully understand them. Maybe they thought they were giving a two-fer-one. Who knows!
After my human siblings cleared out, Mom and I snuggled on the couch and watched movies (along with "the feline"). It seems Mom likes Lifetime Movie Network during the holidays. She's a crier, too. So, she had me worried. At first I didn't know it was the movie. I was trying to figure out what was wrong with her, consoling her and all. I suppose it's another weird human thing that we dogs will never understand. Kind of like how Mom will never understand that I have to hike versus squatting. And she wonders why those crazy puppy pads never worked for me. I am a man. I have to go outside like a man. I need bushes and tires. Speaking of tires...that is one of the best parts of having the family over for Christmas. Tires galore! I hope they come every year. I think they should come on ALL holidays!
Before I go, I will update you on my assistant, Connie Cotton. Well, I guess she isn't my assistant any longer. Mom put her on "the chain." I've come to realize that dogs who do not listen and continue to get into things they are not supposed to go to "the chain." I am not positive but I think Connie abused some of the puppies, terrorizing one so much that he still cries when someone walks by...even when Mom puts food in his bowl. What a shame. I thought Connie was different from the others but you just never know about people, do you? Maybe it's one of those female things. Maybe she is a bipolar canine or something. She is sweet and loving then...BAM! Attack the puppies. Mom says it's jealousy. I say that the "chain" won't cure jealousy but Mom is in charge (or so I let her think).
Well ya'll, I better run. Literally. I have to "go" and it is freezing outside.
Until next time, shake a leg!
~Doggebone
I didn't expect a gift, after all, I am a dog. But my Aunt Terri brought me an amazing package. I have my own Mighty Dog tag which I wear proudly. I do think it has helped my muscles grow. I feel invincible! If you have watched the movie Bolt, you know how Doggebone is feeling with his new Mighty powers. And before you disagree, I have documentation to prove it. I have my own Mighty ID card personalized with MY name. I am available for watch dog positions if anyone has an opening. I am Mighty Doggebone!
Mom said that Aunt Terri was going to bring me a Santa suit but the pet store had sold out. I didn't tell Mom (shhh!) but I am actually glad. Sometimes Mom goes a bit overboard with dressing me. I am a bit embarassed when she takes me out in the cow print fleece sweater. Imagine what the guys think. It even has ears. Most of the time I tend to stay close to home when Mom makes me wear that. Just think of the jokes I'd hear if the guys saw me in a Santa suit. Humans have no idea of the peer pressures we dogs face....especially the guy dogs. Geesh!
Anyway, I did have a great Christmas. My great newphew, Nathan, celebrated his first Christmas and it was fun watching him with his gifts. It seems that he likes the same parts that I like --paper and boxes. That boy has excellent taste! Now, don't argue with me. Paper and boxes provide hours of fun and entertainment, not to mention they are cost-efficient gifts. Something was wrong with Nathan's gifts though. They had toys and clothes stuck to them. Humans! I'll never fully understand them. Maybe they thought they were giving a two-fer-one. Who knows!
After my human siblings cleared out, Mom and I snuggled on the couch and watched movies (along with "the feline"). It seems Mom likes Lifetime Movie Network during the holidays. She's a crier, too. So, she had me worried. At first I didn't know it was the movie. I was trying to figure out what was wrong with her, consoling her and all. I suppose it's another weird human thing that we dogs will never understand. Kind of like how Mom will never understand that I have to hike versus squatting. And she wonders why those crazy puppy pads never worked for me. I am a man. I have to go outside like a man. I need bushes and tires. Speaking of tires...that is one of the best parts of having the family over for Christmas. Tires galore! I hope they come every year. I think they should come on ALL holidays!
Before I go, I will update you on my assistant, Connie Cotton. Well, I guess she isn't my assistant any longer. Mom put her on "the chain." I've come to realize that dogs who do not listen and continue to get into things they are not supposed to go to "the chain." I am not positive but I think Connie abused some of the puppies, terrorizing one so much that he still cries when someone walks by...even when Mom puts food in his bowl. What a shame. I thought Connie was different from the others but you just never know about people, do you? Maybe it's one of those female things. Maybe she is a bipolar canine or something. She is sweet and loving then...BAM! Attack the puppies. Mom says it's jealousy. I say that the "chain" won't cure jealousy but Mom is in charge (or so I let her think).
Well ya'll, I better run. Literally. I have to "go" and it is freezing outside.
Until next time, shake a leg!
~Doggebone
Friday, December 4, 2009
Doggebone weather update
Hi cyber friends! It's me, Doggebone.
I take my job as weather dog quite seriously. I want my friends to be prepared in all seasons. So, having said that, it is time for a weather update.
Doggebone weather report:
It is cold. Stay in bed.
Possible snow flurries later today. Stay in bed.
Cold weather activities:
This is the perfect weather for movies. Watch from your bed.
If you are hungry, be quiet and still...almost lethargic. Your mom will worry and bring you a treat...and you never have to leave the bed.
Let the cats inside. The fluffy creatures help keep you warm while you stay in bed.
Need to "go"? Hold it. Refrain from drinking water. Stay in bed.
That's it for now. Doggebone will post updates as weather conditions change.
Until next time, stay warm...in bed.
~Doggebone
I take my job as weather dog quite seriously. I want my friends to be prepared in all seasons. So, having said that, it is time for a weather update.
Doggebone weather report:
It is cold. Stay in bed.
Possible snow flurries later today. Stay in bed.
Cold weather activities:
This is the perfect weather for movies. Watch from your bed.
If you are hungry, be quiet and still...almost lethargic. Your mom will worry and bring you a treat...and you never have to leave the bed.
Let the cats inside. The fluffy creatures help keep you warm while you stay in bed.
Need to "go"? Hold it. Refrain from drinking water. Stay in bed.
That's it for now. Doggebone will post updates as weather conditions change.
Until next time, stay warm...in bed.
~Doggebone
Friday, November 20, 2009
Mom's obsession with Edward Cullen
Hello. It's me, again. Doggebone.
Before I start, let me say that in case you are one of the gazillion fnas of the Twilight book and movie series, I am a fan, too. But I am a bit concerned about my mom and the other female fans in my house.
Okay...I have to admit that Edward Cullen is handsome, for a guy and vampire. I am not upset that my mom and human female siblings think he is so hot. I am upset over the guy's menu choices. I am not saying that I think this vampire heartthrob should feast on humans, but can you understand why I am upset? Hello! Instead of the traditional vampiric menu of human blood, the guy and his "family" --in their attempt to "be good vampires"- only hunt animals.
Animals. Do you see now? Animals = d-o-g!
Sure mom and the girls are safe but what about Doggebone? Yeah, I know...Edward Cullen is only a character in a book...a movie...but the threat is real. I am having nightmares about it.
I imagine that I am running outside with my friends, minding my own business and then BAM! Doggebone is dinner. The teeth are scary. The eyes...the glow of hunger...
All I ask is that humans have a bit of compassion and understanding for the rest of those in the animal kingdom.
If you are one of the gazillion planning to head out to see New Moon today, think about Doggebone and all the other Doggebone's in the world. We have feelings, too. We have rights. And the thought of becoming a meal is a bit intimidating.
Go ahead. Love Edward. Love Jacob. Love them all. But while you are frothing over them, why not become an advocate for me? Try convincing them that there are alternatives to hunting animals. And I am not saying they should revert to the human blood lust thing. Why not try what Mick does on Moonlight? Blood banks. The blood is already there. No human or animal is injured, killed, or converted.
Help Doggebone's nightmares end, please! After all, there is more at stake (no pun intended to vampires) than a few nightmares. Do you know what can happen to a dog who is suddenly jolted from sleep because of fear? He might wet on himself. I am not saying that I have done this. Just that it is possible. And the ramifications are not pretty...or so I have been told.
Before I start, let me say that in case you are one of the gazillion fnas of the Twilight book and movie series, I am a fan, too. But I am a bit concerned about my mom and the other female fans in my house.
Okay...I have to admit that Edward Cullen is handsome, for a guy and vampire. I am not upset that my mom and human female siblings think he is so hot. I am upset over the guy's menu choices. I am not saying that I think this vampire heartthrob should feast on humans, but can you understand why I am upset? Hello! Instead of the traditional vampiric menu of human blood, the guy and his "family" --in their attempt to "be good vampires"- only hunt animals.
Animals. Do you see now? Animals = d-o-g!
Sure mom and the girls are safe but what about Doggebone? Yeah, I know...Edward Cullen is only a character in a book...a movie...but the threat is real. I am having nightmares about it.
I imagine that I am running outside with my friends, minding my own business and then BAM! Doggebone is dinner. The teeth are scary. The eyes...the glow of hunger...
All I ask is that humans have a bit of compassion and understanding for the rest of those in the animal kingdom.
If you are one of the gazillion planning to head out to see New Moon today, think about Doggebone and all the other Doggebone's in the world. We have feelings, too. We have rights. And the thought of becoming a meal is a bit intimidating.
Go ahead. Love Edward. Love Jacob. Love them all. But while you are frothing over them, why not become an advocate for me? Try convincing them that there are alternatives to hunting animals. And I am not saying they should revert to the human blood lust thing. Why not try what Mick does on Moonlight? Blood banks. The blood is already there. No human or animal is injured, killed, or converted.
Help Doggebone's nightmares end, please! After all, there is more at stake (no pun intended to vampires) than a few nightmares. Do you know what can happen to a dog who is suddenly jolted from sleep because of fear? He might wet on himself. I am not saying that I have done this. Just that it is possible. And the ramifications are not pretty...or so I have been told.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
New U.S. Postage Stamp: buy ‘em by the truck load
For those of you who have not yet heard, our President has approved…encouraged…decided…ordered…heck, something or the other…
Let me start over.
President Obama has directed (directed, yep…that was the word I was looking for) the United States Postal Service to remember and honor the EID Muslim holiday season with a new commemorative 42 cent first class holiday postage stamp.
Okay. I am a bit confused. We are living in the United States of America. The last time I sniffed around my human mom’s history books, I do believe I read that our nation was founded on Christian principles. Christian. Christ. Christian. Muslim? I’m not seeing the relevance of this new stamp.
Hmm. Okay. Let’s see what Muslims have contributed to our nation…
Well, let Doggebone tell you why you should buy them…
Show what you think about the new EID Muslim holiday commemorative stamp. Purchase them by the truck load. Make a wise investment. Doggebone recommends using them for:
The United States is a Christian nation. Not Muslim. The mere thought of this stamp is a slap in the face to the American people…and Doggebone loves his people!
Unless you plan to line your feline companion’s litter box, I don’t recommend purchasing these atrocities. But, you do have the freedom and free will to do as you wish. If you opt to place one on your “Holiday” cards this year, be sure to make notes because you will be held accountable one day…which might not be that far away. And, if you use them, don’t send Doggebone a card.
Doggebone says, wag your tail. Bark loudly. Tell the world that you think Jesus is the reason for the season and that there is no room for anti-Christian principles in our country.
Let me start over.
President Obama has directed (directed, yep…that was the word I was looking for) the United States Postal Service to remember and honor the EID Muslim holiday season with a new commemorative 42 cent first class holiday postage stamp.
Okay. I am a bit confused. We are living in the United States of America. The last time I sniffed around my human mom’s history books, I do believe I read that our nation was founded on Christian principles. Christian. Christ. Christian. Muslim? I’m not seeing the relevance of this new stamp.
Hmm. Okay. Let’s see what Muslims have contributed to our nation…
- Muslims bombed Pan Am flight 103
- Muslims bombed the World Trade Center in 1993
- Muslims bombed US Marine barracks in Lebanon
- Muslims bombed the US military barracks in Saudi Arabia
- Muslims bombed the American Embassies in Africa
- Muslims bombed the USS COLE
- Muslims were responsible for the terrorists attacks on 9/11/2001
- Muslims were responsible for the killing for countless Americans
Well, let Doggebone tell you why you should buy them…
Show what you think about the new EID Muslim holiday commemorative stamp. Purchase them by the truck load. Make a wise investment. Doggebone recommends using them for:
- Litter box liners. No more hassling with the plastic lift-and-remove box liners. Simply remove the stamp from the protective sheet and place in neat rows in the litter box. The self-adhesive backing makes installation a breeze! When it’s time to clean the litter box, simply dump them along with the rest of the …
- Paw protectors. I don’t know about you, but I get tired of getting in trouble for my nasty paws after being outside. The convenient self-adhesive backing on these unique stamps makes paw application as easy as 1 paw, 2 paws, 3 paws, 4 paws. Lovable dogs, like Doggebone, will have protection from the elements we encounter when playing outside; not to mention the protection from stepping in … well, except I might not be able to tell the difference between the stamp/protector and what I stepped in.
- Seals. These one-of-a-kind stamps make excellent seals for minor leaks in plastic cups or other …wait a minute. They won’t hold water. Yep, that is exactly right. These new stamps do not hold water as far as the American people are concerned.
The United States is a Christian nation. Not Muslim. The mere thought of this stamp is a slap in the face to the American people…and Doggebone loves his people!
Unless you plan to line your feline companion’s litter box, I don’t recommend purchasing these atrocities. But, you do have the freedom and free will to do as you wish. If you opt to place one on your “Holiday” cards this year, be sure to make notes because you will be held accountable one day…which might not be that far away. And, if you use them, don’t send Doggebone a card.
Doggebone says, wag your tail. Bark loudly. Tell the world that you think Jesus is the reason for the season and that there is no room for anti-Christian principles in our country.
The blame game
Hello again. It’s me. Doggebone.
I’m needing to vent a little.
You know, just because I am a dog doesn’t mean that every bad thing that happens in my home is my fault.
Early this morning, around 3:30 I believe, an odd sound woke my human mom suddenly. She sat upright. Listened. The sound was a mixture of rumbling and gurgling and something that I really can’t put into words. She was trying to figure out what the sound was and where it was coming from.
In two seconds I knew what the sound was…and apparently so did she. The smell was horrendous. The worst smell I’ve ever smelled in my almost 2 years of life…and that is saying something when a dog thinks something stinks (hey, that rhymes!). Then she said it. I still do not believe she said it.
“Fred!” she said, her voice was painful, obviously from trying to keep from inhaling.
Why did she assume the smell came from me?
She leaned over and cut the lamp on.
Aha! It wasn’t me was it, mom?!
There he was…guilt covered his face like the dark covered the night…at least, before mom cut the lamp on.
Mr. M, my feline sibling…looking all dejected, his hacking was quite disturbing. I think that his stomach roared louder than the UPS truck that passes by our house. Mr. M is jet black, big as a house…and obviously, someone (not Doggebone!) forgot to put him outside before bed. He was sick. I’m no rocket scientist but I would bet my last Barkin’ Bacon Bites that his stomach was tore up. Man, oh man, was it tore up.
My mom was freaking out! Why he picked our room, I’ll never know, but my mom was up for a while cleaning, scrubbing, spraying some fruity something-or-other which only made the room smell like fruity kaka.
Anyway…back to the point. Why do humans always assume it’s the dog’s fault when hygiene issues arise? I’m a fairly neat little man, for a canine. Plus, if I had been the one who passed along the "present," I wouldn't hang around to see her reaction!
Sure, I have some buddies that hang around the yard who aren’t as courteous as me but I know better. And my mom knows that I know better. So, next time one of those hairballs, I mean cats, get sick she better not blame Doggebone…or else. I know how to give the cold paw!
You’ll stand up for me, right?
I’m needing to vent a little.
You know, just because I am a dog doesn’t mean that every bad thing that happens in my home is my fault.
Early this morning, around 3:30 I believe, an odd sound woke my human mom suddenly. She sat upright. Listened. The sound was a mixture of rumbling and gurgling and something that I really can’t put into words. She was trying to figure out what the sound was and where it was coming from.
In two seconds I knew what the sound was…and apparently so did she. The smell was horrendous. The worst smell I’ve ever smelled in my almost 2 years of life…and that is saying something when a dog thinks something stinks (hey, that rhymes!). Then she said it. I still do not believe she said it.
“Fred!” she said, her voice was painful, obviously from trying to keep from inhaling.
Why did she assume the smell came from me?
She leaned over and cut the lamp on.
Aha! It wasn’t me was it, mom?!
There he was…guilt covered his face like the dark covered the night…at least, before mom cut the lamp on.
Mr. M, my feline sibling…looking all dejected, his hacking was quite disturbing. I think that his stomach roared louder than the UPS truck that passes by our house. Mr. M is jet black, big as a house…and obviously, someone (not Doggebone!) forgot to put him outside before bed. He was sick. I’m no rocket scientist but I would bet my last Barkin’ Bacon Bites that his stomach was tore up. Man, oh man, was it tore up.
My mom was freaking out! Why he picked our room, I’ll never know, but my mom was up for a while cleaning, scrubbing, spraying some fruity something-or-other which only made the room smell like fruity kaka.
Anyway…back to the point. Why do humans always assume it’s the dog’s fault when hygiene issues arise? I’m a fairly neat little man, for a canine. Plus, if I had been the one who passed along the "present," I wouldn't hang around to see her reaction!
Sure, I have some buddies that hang around the yard who aren’t as courteous as me but I know better. And my mom knows that I know better. So, next time one of those hairballs, I mean cats, get sick she better not blame Doggebone…or else. I know how to give the cold paw!
You’ll stand up for me, right?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Ft. Hoot shooter deserves no sympathy: Doggebone recommends action
Hello again world. It's Doggebone. I wish this post could be a happy one, but I am frothing over news of the horror at Ft. Hood.
Can you believe the media is giving the shooter so much attention? And to think this mass murderer has garnered sympathy from those who are supposed to stand up for the American people. I am a freaking dog and I know that this just ain't right!
Instead of focusing on how stressed and psychologically unstable the shooter was, why not focus on how stressed and psychologicaly damaged the victims and their families are?
My human mom spent several years living on post when her ex was in the Army. She says the atmosphere of family and comradery are unlike any other, but that the way things seem to be now she wonders if military families will opt for off-post housing, if they stay in the military at all.
When American leaders, the media, and many citizens are barred from speaking out against acts such as this, what does that say for the future of our nation? All I know is that it is better to be a dog these days! I would not want to put up with the new restrictions placed on Americans, particularly those that go against the very rights granted through the Constitution.
Having said all of this, Doggebone wants to make a few points:
Until next time, remember to bark back when something disturbs you!
-Doggebone
Can you believe the media is giving the shooter so much attention? And to think this mass murderer has garnered sympathy from those who are supposed to stand up for the American people. I am a freaking dog and I know that this just ain't right!
Instead of focusing on how stressed and psychologically unstable the shooter was, why not focus on how stressed and psychologicaly damaged the victims and their families are?
My human mom spent several years living on post when her ex was in the Army. She says the atmosphere of family and comradery are unlike any other, but that the way things seem to be now she wonders if military families will opt for off-post housing, if they stay in the military at all.
When American leaders, the media, and many citizens are barred from speaking out against acts such as this, what does that say for the future of our nation? All I know is that it is better to be a dog these days! I would not want to put up with the new restrictions placed on Americans, particularly those that go against the very rights granted through the Constitution.
Having said all of this, Doggebone wants to make a few points:
- Americans, take a stand to protect your rights and freedoms.
- Speaking up is not being unpatriotic; in fact, remaining silent is no different that condoning the condition of our nation.
- Keep informed on issues that affect the American people, their quality of life, their safety, and their ability to live confortably and free of fear in a free nation.When issues disturb you, such as the proposed health care "solution," do something!
- Promote continuity of a free press that reports the truth, the facts, and the whole story...not only the parts that are politically correct.
- Demand that Washington and all the powers-that-be be held accountable.
Until next time, remember to bark back when something disturbs you!
-Doggebone
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Doggebone's take on iTunes TV
Well guys, it's me again. Doggebone. I've been listening to conversations about Apple's new iTunes TV capabilities. And I have to put my 2 kibbles in!
Okay. First, a dog's opinion is important. Guys like me see the world for what it really is and having my people obtain another electronic gadget is not something that makes me jump up and down. Think about it...
My human family already owns several traditional TVs, cell phones, iPods, video gaming systems, computers for personal and work use, stereos, blah, blah. The list goes on. So, exactly how is this iTunes TV going to benefit my family? Specifically, how will it benefit me? The answer is simple: it won't!
Now don't get me wrong. I love to snuggle with my human mom when she's watching a movie but she can get too caught up in the back to back to back movies. Add a cell phone conversation to movie time and Doggebone is feeling a bit neglected.
I don't expect you to fully understand but I do ask that you look at it from my point of view.
When humans become distracted by electronics something changes inside them. They change from the loving people we dogs have come to adore to a stranger focused solely on their own enjoyment. What happened to the days of a loving pat, a walk in the park, a run around the yard, or a good ole roll on the floor? Technology is what happened!
So, before you run out an buy or upgrade think about the canines (and some worthy felines) who depend on you. We are dedicated to you. Shouldn't you put our needs before the pleasure you might obtain from playing around with some unfeeling, unemotional gadget? And Apple claims the service is only $30 a month. Imagine what that $30 could be used for...rawhide chews, chicken flavored treats, bacon bites...
Not to mention...how can an Apple display a TV show anyway? Get real!
But...never let it be said that Doggebone is not fair. Check it out for yourself.
http://mediamemo.allthingsd.com/20091102/apples-itunes-pitch-tv-for-30-a-month/
Okay. First, a dog's opinion is important. Guys like me see the world for what it really is and having my people obtain another electronic gadget is not something that makes me jump up and down. Think about it...
My human family already owns several traditional TVs, cell phones, iPods, video gaming systems, computers for personal and work use, stereos, blah, blah. The list goes on. So, exactly how is this iTunes TV going to benefit my family? Specifically, how will it benefit me? The answer is simple: it won't!
Now don't get me wrong. I love to snuggle with my human mom when she's watching a movie but she can get too caught up in the back to back to back movies. Add a cell phone conversation to movie time and Doggebone is feeling a bit neglected.
I don't expect you to fully understand but I do ask that you look at it from my point of view.
When humans become distracted by electronics something changes inside them. They change from the loving people we dogs have come to adore to a stranger focused solely on their own enjoyment. What happened to the days of a loving pat, a walk in the park, a run around the yard, or a good ole roll on the floor? Technology is what happened!
So, before you run out an buy or upgrade think about the canines (and some worthy felines) who depend on you. We are dedicated to you. Shouldn't you put our needs before the pleasure you might obtain from playing around with some unfeeling, unemotional gadget? And Apple claims the service is only $30 a month. Imagine what that $30 could be used for...rawhide chews, chicken flavored treats, bacon bites...
Not to mention...how can an Apple display a TV show anyway? Get real!
But...never let it be said that Doggebone is not fair. Check it out for yourself.
http://mediamemo.allthingsd.com/20091102/apples-itunes-pitch-tv-for-30-a-month/
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Say what you mean!
OK. I can be more open with you than I can my human mom. I mean, she cares for me and...well, she babies me a lot. Maybe too much. I owe her, though. She took me in when my previous owner was treating me badly. Anyway...I just have to vent.
My mom doesn't like for me to go out by myself because I am a wanderer. I can't help it! It's in my nature. I have to explore. When the squirrels start playing and the bird are chirping something goes wild inside me. My sense of obedience simply leaves!
Sorry, I got off topic.
Several days in a row my mom let me go outside to do my business alone. I did good the first few times. But one day, ONE...not two...just ONE, I ran with some of the guys and got really wet and muddy. I felt so free. I had the time of my life. That is, until I came home.
All I heard was nag, nag, nag about the dirt and mud. Think about it from my point of view. I am a dog. Dogs like to run. Dogs like dirt. If you let a dog outside alone, he is going to get dirty. Hello! Common sense, right? Yeah, I thought so, too!
Why can't my human mom just say what she means?
She says, "Do you need to go outside?"
She means, "You are not allowed to have any fun. No fun! No fun!"
She says: "Go play with your friends."
She means: "Don't run off with those other dogs."
I get really frustrated. I am a dog. I live in a house filled with humans and cats. What does she expect when I have the chance to run with the big dogs? And she wonders why I love going to the vet so much. Canine interaction, man! For real! I crave it. I have to have it. The vet doesn't fuss about my hygiene. He puts me in a cage near other dogs. A time or two there's been some pretty hot babes in there. Not that it matters now that I've been "fixed" but a dog can dream.
Anyway...it's been good to get this off my chest. If you talk to my mom, don't tell her I told you about this. She's sensitive when it comes to me. But who wouldn't be? I am adorable, or so I have been told.
Until next time, take it easy. Enjoy life. Take a roll on the floor. Scratch like there's no tomorrow!
~Doggebone
My mom doesn't like for me to go out by myself because I am a wanderer. I can't help it! It's in my nature. I have to explore. When the squirrels start playing and the bird are chirping something goes wild inside me. My sense of obedience simply leaves!
Sorry, I got off topic.
Several days in a row my mom let me go outside to do my business alone. I did good the first few times. But one day, ONE...not two...just ONE, I ran with some of the guys and got really wet and muddy. I felt so free. I had the time of my life. That is, until I came home.
All I heard was nag, nag, nag about the dirt and mud. Think about it from my point of view. I am a dog. Dogs like to run. Dogs like dirt. If you let a dog outside alone, he is going to get dirty. Hello! Common sense, right? Yeah, I thought so, too!
Why can't my human mom just say what she means?
She says, "Do you need to go outside?"
She means, "You are not allowed to have any fun. No fun! No fun!"
She says: "Go play with your friends."
She means: "Don't run off with those other dogs."
I get really frustrated. I am a dog. I live in a house filled with humans and cats. What does she expect when I have the chance to run with the big dogs? And she wonders why I love going to the vet so much. Canine interaction, man! For real! I crave it. I have to have it. The vet doesn't fuss about my hygiene. He puts me in a cage near other dogs. A time or two there's been some pretty hot babes in there. Not that it matters now that I've been "fixed" but a dog can dream.
Anyway...it's been good to get this off my chest. If you talk to my mom, don't tell her I told you about this. She's sensitive when it comes to me. But who wouldn't be? I am adorable, or so I have been told.
Until next time, take it easy. Enjoy life. Take a roll on the floor. Scratch like there's no tomorrow!
~Doggebone
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Doggebone dictionary: "politically correct"
How about a Doggebone definition for politically correct?
Politically correct (adj.): the term used to describe words or text adjusted for for those who cannot handle the truth.
In Doggebone's dictionary, at least for today, the abbreviation "adj" stands for adjusted not adjective!
Got a word you want Doggebone to define? Ask him. (No ugly words, please!)
Politically correct (adj.): the term used to describe words or text adjusted for for those who cannot handle the truth.
In Doggebone's dictionary, at least for today, the abbreviation "adj" stands for adjusted not adjective!
Got a word you want Doggebone to define? Ask him. (No ugly words, please!)
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