The blame game

Hello again. It’s me. Doggebone.

I’m needing to vent a little.

You know, just because I am a dog doesn’t mean that every bad thing that happens in my home is my fault.

Early this morning, around 3:30 I believe, an odd sound woke my human mom suddenly. She sat upright. Listened. The sound was a mixture of rumbling and gurgling and something that I really can’t put into words. She was trying to figure out what the sound was and where it was coming from.

In two seconds I knew what the sound was…and apparently so did she. The smell was horrendous. The worst smell I’ve ever smelled in my almost 2 years of life…and that is saying something when a dog thinks something stinks (hey, that rhymes!). Then she said it. I still do not believe she said it.

“Fred!” she said, her voice was painful, obviously from trying to keep from inhaling.

Why did she assume the smell came from me?

She leaned over and cut the lamp on.

Aha! It wasn’t me was it, mom?!

There he was…guilt covered his face like the dark covered the night…at least, before mom cut the lamp on.

Mr. M, my feline sibling…looking all dejected, his hacking was quite disturbing. I think that his stomach roared louder than the UPS truck that passes by our house. Mr. M is jet black, big as a house…and obviously, someone (not Doggebone!) forgot to put him outside before bed. He was sick. I’m no rocket scientist but I would bet my last Barkin’ Bacon Bites that his stomach was tore up. Man, oh man, was it tore up.

My mom was freaking out! Why he picked our room, I’ll never know, but my mom was up for a while cleaning, scrubbing, spraying some fruity something-or-other which only made the room smell like fruity kaka.

Anyway…back to the point. Why do humans always assume it’s the dog’s fault when hygiene issues arise? I’m a fairly neat little man, for a canine. Plus, if I had been the one who passed along the "present," I wouldn't hang around to see her reaction!

Sure, I have some buddies that hang around the yard who aren’t as courteous as me but I know better. And my mom knows that I know better. So, next time one of those hairballs, I mean cats, get sick she better not blame Doggebone…or else. I know how to give the cold paw!

You’ll stand up for me, right?