Say what you mean!

OK. I can be more open with you than I can my human mom. I mean, she cares for me and...well, she babies me a lot. Maybe too much. I owe her, though. She took me in when my previous owner was treating me badly. Anyway...I just have to vent.

My mom doesn't like for me to go out by myself because I am a wanderer. I can't help it! It's in my nature. I have to explore. When the squirrels start playing and the bird are chirping something goes wild inside me. My sense of obedience simply leaves!

Sorry, I got off topic.

Several days in a row my mom let me go outside to do my business alone. I did good the first few times. But one day, ONE...not two...just ONE, I ran with some of the guys and got really wet and muddy. I felt so free. I had the time of my life. That is, until I came home.

All I heard was nag, nag, nag about the dirt and mud. Think about it from my point of view. I am a dog. Dogs like to run. Dogs like dirt. If you let a dog outside alone, he is going to get dirty. Hello! Common sense, right? Yeah, I thought so, too!

Why can't my human mom just say what she means?

She says, "Do you need to go outside?"
She means, "You are not allowed to have any fun. No fun! No fun!"

She says: "Go play with your friends."
She means: "Don't run off with those other dogs."

I get really frustrated. I am a dog. I live in a house filled with humans and cats. What does she expect when I have the chance to run with the big dogs? And she wonders why I love going to the vet so much. Canine interaction, man! For real! I crave it. I have to have it. The vet doesn't fuss about my hygiene. He puts me in a cage near other dogs. A time or two there's been some pretty hot babes in there. Not that it matters now that I've been "fixed" but a dog can dream.

Anyway...it's been good to get this off my chest. If you talk to my mom, don't tell her I told you about this. She's sensitive when it comes to me. But who wouldn't be? I am adorable, or so I have been told.

Until next time, take it easy. Enjoy life. Take a roll on the floor. Scratch like there's no tomorrow!

~Doggebone